Because religion should not matter (too much)

Monthly Archives: January 2010

Apathist Clothing Ban

Stores in UK continue to ban customers in Apathetic clothing.

Pyjamas BanNo doubt inspired by MPs in France clearing proposals to ban Muslim women from wearing a burqa, a Tesco store in Cardiff, Wales, has banned Apathist clothing. A spokesman said that the signs banning nightwear and bare feet were purely to avoid offending other customers and denied any religious connection. However he confirmed that if people chose to express their Apathy by not bothering to get dressed or putting on footwear, they would be asked to leave the store.

Tesco stores seem determined to stamp out any expression of Apathy through clothing. Last summer a woman who didn’t bother to put any clothing over her bikini top, was asked to leave a Tesco store in Lincolnshire. The spokesman claimed that was a totally unrelated case and again denied any religious connection.

One of the most visible expressions of Apathy, not bothering to dress when going out, is practiced my millions every day. Shopping in your PJs is a very effective way of showing your Apathy. Stores should not be permitted to persecute these individuals for their disinterested religious belief. The Apathists will be outraged, or perhaps they won’t care.

Links
France threatens to ban burqa
Tesco ban on nightwear
Tesco bans bikini woman

St. Fechin’s Day

Jan 20th is St. Fechin’s Day. Wish everyone a Happy Fechin Day.

St FechinOne of Ireland’s lesser-known saints celebrates his feast day on January 20th. Born in the townland of Bella in Collooney, Sligo, he was probably one of the most influential of the seventh century Irish saints.

Unfortunately, despite the best efforts of Father Jack, the name is almost extinct now. To promote the revival of the name, we at the Church of Apathy, encourage everyone to wish everyone a Happy Fechin Day, on January 20th each year. Put it on your Facebook status, your screen saver and twitter it. If you know of any young Catholics coming up to their confirmation, let them know of Saint Fechin and encourage them to take it as their confirmation name. Joe Blogs is much more interesting as Joe Fechin Blogs. Similarly, if you know anyone about to give birth, enlighten them. Let’s make the name Fechin great again.
Have a Great Fechin Day.
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Jesus Apparitions Continue

Following recent appearances on bananas and oranges, Jesus moves on to naan bread.

Jesus in naan bread The most recent appearance on naan bread, has sent the tabloids into a frenzy with phrases from the Mirror like, “he thought he had gone madras”, “someone was rogan joshing him” or the headline “Jesus of Naan-zareth” from the Express.
Jesus in Orange On January 8th, the Lockport Journal reported on Jesus and Mary appearing inside an orange. The article shows a picture of the orange with what looks like Jesus on a crucifix and Mary at his feet.
Jesus in Banana Before Christmas, Jesus appeared on a banana. This was probably not the wisest food on which to make an appearance, as it gave rise to headlines such as “Jesus goes bananas” in the Anorak News. Unfortunately, the chosen recipient of this apparition posted a picture on facebook and ate the banana.
Jesus in Bruise A routine blood sample taken from Mary Massa’s arm in the US, left a bruise in which she claims she can see the face of Jesus. The Metro captions one of the photos as “A Bloody Miracle”.
Jesus in Iron In another article, the Metro reported Jesus appearing on the iron of Mary Jo Coady in the US at the end of November.

It’s good to know that Jesus continues to pop up in the most unlikely places.

Jesus kidnapped again

Yes, as reported in the Irish Independent, the baby Jesus has been kidnapped again, this time from the Lough in Cork city. When the Lough froze over, the kidnappers were able to walk on water to take the life-sized statue of Baby Jesus from the popular nativity scene. The police were alerted and Baby Jesus was later recovered without any significant damage. To the best of our knowledge no ransom demands were made.

This seems to be a new trend. Between Christmas and the New Year, The Herald News, Illinois reported that the Baby Jesus was taken from his manger outside Saint Anne’s church. Beer bottles were put in place of the infant, presumably as a decoy.

The Linlithgow Gazette reports that kidnappers also struck in Scotland’s West Lothian on Christmas Eve. This time, not only did they take the Baby Jesus, but his manger and the Virgin Mary. Joseph, the three wise men and a shepherd were left unharmed at the scene, but were unable to help the South Queensferry police with their enquiries.

Jesus Missing

Blasphemy for Everyone

Ireland extends blasphemy laws. If you say religion is important, I may find that offensive to my apathistic beliefs and sue you.

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