Because religion should not matter (too much)

Monthly Archives: March 2010

Search for God continues

Hadron ColliderTomorrow, at the European Centre for Nuclear Research (Cern), high-energy operations will restart at the Hadron Collider, following the spectacular failure just 9 days after the original launch in 2008. Scientists hope that experiments will ultimately allow them to find the so-called “God particle” or Higgs boson that theoretically gave mass to everything in the universe. They have already circulated photon particle beams to record speeds and aim to steer them into head-on collisions to mimic conditions at the moment of the big bang. The collider will still only run on half power until 2011, when it will close for another year of work before it will be able to run on full power in 2013. This of course will be a little too late to fulfil the Mayan 2012 prophecy.
All this talk of finding God particles and re-creating the big bang has led to some disquiet. In a well-publicised case, an unidentified German woman, appealed to the highest German court, to try and prevent the experiments, which she felt would lead to the apocalypse. The court said she failed to demonstrate any connection between experiments at the Cern collider and the apocalypse.
Anything that adds to the sum of human knowledge will bring us closer to understanding this crazy universe and any Gods that may or may not exist. Only the deeply religious seem to fear this for some reason. Personally, I am hoping it may lead to the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon.

Google is God

Google GodFollowing Google’s decision to stop filtering Chinese search results, the Chinese state media has said that “For Chinese people, Google is not God, and even if it puts on a show of politics and values, it is still not God.

The Church of Google has been maintaining for some time, that Google is in fact God. Their proof page lists 9 proofs that can be applied to prove (more than any other God) that Google is God. Well at least we know it exists. That’s a start.

Strange eating habits in Florida

Giant West African SnailIn two unrelated incidents in Florida, a minister’s wife starved herself to death while fasting and followers of a healer are ill after eating snail mucus in a religious ceremony.

Evelyn Boyd, wife of a minister in Bartow, Florida, locked herself in her room to fast. She began fasting seriously in 2009 and had many long fasts including one of 40 days, although she did have some minimum sustenance in that one. On February 7th, she entered the room for the last time. Her husband wanted to check on her, but respected her need to be alone with God. Almost four weeks later they broke into the room to find her dead body.

Meanwhile in Miami, followers of healer Charles L. Stewart complained of being violently ill, losing weight and getting lumps in their stomach after digesting the mucus of Giant African Snails. The snails are prohibited in the US, as it can devastate ecosystems. Charles claims that the snails are used in his African religion as part of healing ceremonies.

Personally, I will be celebrating Saint Patrick’s day tomorrow with a creamy pint of Guinness. St. Patrick, sponsored by Diageo, should be recognised as the patron Saint of Guinness.

Jesus appear in frying pan

Jesus in frying panToby Elles, in Lancashire, decided to fry some bacon after a night of drinking with his mates. After putting the pan on the hob, he fell asleep and was woken by holy smoke filling the room. Why holy smoke? When he lifted the bacon out of the pan, he saw the face of Jesus baked onto the pan.

“Perhaps someone is looking over me,” he stated.

Toby is going to keep the pan and is considering getting a glass cabinet to house it.

Perhaps it is ok to eat pork.

Rugby without alcohol?

Rugby BallOn Good Friday Jesus died and the pubs are shut in Ireland. What’s good about it? One of the biggest Irish rugby fixtures of the year, between Munster and Leinster, has been scheduled for Good Friday, causing outrage among Irish fans. In Ireland, sales of alcohol are banned on Good Friday, so the traditional venue for fans to congregate and cheer their team on is closed. Celtic Rugby, who organise Magrers League fixtures with Setanta Sports, set the date. It suits both teams, as they have European fixtures the following week. Publicans and politicians are fighting for a six-hour exemption to the archaic alcohol ban to enable pubs to open and cash in on the deal. The planned exemption is to cover all licensed pubs in the Limerick area, which is most unfair to the rest of the country.

The local Franciscan Friars have also condemned the date. Brother Sean O’Connor, head of the Moyross friars said

“If you identify yourself as a catholic, then you should be nowhere near Thomand Park or a pub on that day.”

Thousands of fans however, unable to get a ticket for one of the 26,000 sold out seats, wait to see if the pubs will be open. It is unlikely that anyone will be excommunicated, executed or have their children victimised as a result. Not so in other parts of the world.

In Denver, Colorado, the Catholic Archbishop Charles J Chaput is defending a decision not to re-enroll two children to a Catholic school, as it became known that their parents are lesbians. Why they would want their children to be raised as Catholics, I don’t know.

In Iran, Mohammad Amin Valian’s appeal against his death penalty for “moharebeh”, used to punish political protesters, has been rejected. Using moharebeh to defend the regime has been widely critised. A further appeal is still possible.

Back in Ireland again, the police have detained 7 Muslims suspected of plotting to murder the Swedish cartoonist, Lars Vilks, whose depiction of the prophet Mohammad caused outrage among Muslims over two years ago.

It’s a crazy world out there. I’m glad I’m an Apathist.

Jesus in Marmite

Jesus on Marmite LidYes, they are at it again. There has been another apparition of Jesus in a foodstuff. He is certainly encouraging a varied diet. This time the Allen family in Wales has discovered Jesus on the lid of a jar of Marmite. Claire Allen stated:

People might think I’m nuts, but I like to think it’s Jesus looking out for us.

Enough said.

10 Commandments must be removed

10 CommandmentsThe US Supreme Court has ruled that it will not review a decision by the Circuit Court in Denver. The Denver court ruled that the 8 foot tall stone monument, placed on the courthouse lawn in 2004 is unconstitutional as it amounts to a government endorsement of religion. As a result the monument will have to be removed from the courthouse lawn.

Having an extra commandment, the monument is obviously flawed. If only they had stuck with the nine commandments, then perhaps the court may not have seen it in the same light.

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