Monthly Archives: October 2010
A strange apparition above a lake in Switzerland has been caught on Google Street View. Can it be distortion or a lens flare? Oh ye of little faith. It is of course God giving us a message. There appear to be two figures, a Jedi Knight on the left and a fairy with wings and a pink dress on the right. The Jedi Knight, as discussed on the previous post is becoming a common theme for apparitions. This is God recommending religious Apathy, as shown by people who fill in Jedi as their religion on census forms. The pink fairy is a little trickier. If this is, as some have suggested, God and His only begotten Son, the Son is obviously in touch with His feminine side. He may be telling the Westboro Baptist Church, the Mormons and others that it is ok to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.
Why did God choose to be photographed in Switzerland? Minaret building is banned in Switzerland, so I guess this God is not Allah. How long before tourists are flocking here to catch a glimpse of the Almighty? See it for your self here.
Jesus following on from his last appearance in South Carolina, has now been sighted on a tree limb in North Carolina. Bill Johnson, of Winston-Salem, noticed the image on the limb, which had fallen from a cherry tree in his garden. “That looks like Jesus” he said, “It just amazed me.” Bill believes that this was a reminder for him to attend church more often, but he is missing the point. Look carefully at the miraculous image and you will notice an uncanny resemblance to Obi Wan Kenobi or some other Jedi Knight. In the centre of the picture you can clearly see his light sabre. Obviously Obi-Wan is a fictional character, so this must be Jesus paying homage to all those Apathists who write Jedi as their religion on census forms. Thank you for your support Jesus.
A recent report commissioned by the Church of England in the UK among people born after 1982 had some surprisingly pleasant results. The new generation are not hostile to their parents’ religious viewpoint and religion is irrelevant to them in their everyday lives. The report studied over 300 people in England, between the ages of 8 and 23, who attended Christian youth and community work projects. Their faith is centred around family and friends, with the church only playing a role on rare occasions. Furthermore, they are happy with this arrangement and are not seeking to know more about religion. This has not prevented them being keenly aware of ethical issues and when faced with a difficult decision, they consult friends and family for moral guidance. Isn’t it good to know that the next generation are so astute? The keys findings of the report are summarised in new book, “The Faith of Generation Y”.
Jesus has been chewed out, gone from the fire to the frying pan, done down the drain and been mugged this year. In the latest apparition Jesus goes all hi-tech and appears in an MRI scan. When Tammie Cohrs, in South Carolina, was going to have an MRI scan for oral cancer, she asked Jesus for help. When she saw the scan she couldn’t believe her eyes. She could clearly see a face, which must obviously belong to Jesus. The image is very similar to the Prodigy album cover for “Music for the Jilted Generation”. Jesus must be a fan.