Because religion should not matter (too much)

Monthly Archives: December 2010

Jesus inside Indiana woman.

Jesus XRayJesus has had a busy year with numerous apparitions witnessed, including some hi-tech ones like the MRI scan and Google Street View. Now Karen Sigler, of Indiana, claims that Jesus appeared in her chest X-Ray. She underwent surgery for breast cancer and will have chemotherapy in the New Year. Just look at the X-Ray image published by ABC News. Can you see Jesus staring out at you? No? It seems most people can’t see it as clearly as Ms Sigler can, so ABC helpfully published a version with a clearer image of Jesus superimposed on the X-Ray. Check out the enhanced version below. Uncanny! You have to agree.

Happy Yuletide

Today, the shortest day of the year, is Yule, celebrated by pagans since long before the Christian Christmas. This year it coincided with a full moon, which looked particularly spectacular in my part of the world as it shone on a snow covered Europe. There was also a lunar eclipse last night, but it was not visible in all parts of the world. The last total eclipse during the winter solstice was in 1638, so it was truly a once in a lifetime event.
This morning the dawn at Newgrange, was broadcast live on Irish Television. Newgrange, claimed by some to be the oldest building in the world, was built over 5,000 years ago, just north of Dublin. It was constructed so that shortly after dawn on the Solstice, the sun shines directly into the inner chamber. This evening it will be the turn of Stonehenge. The main focus of Stonehenge, built about 1,000 years after Newgrange, seems to be the solstice sunset, as viewed through the arches of the Great Trilithon.
This year is especially a happy Yule for pagan prisoners in the UK, as their religion has now been recognised and prison governors have been issued with a list of the 8 main pagan holidays, including Yule. The prisoners may choose to celebrate 4 of these and may also keep tarot cards, a hoodless robe and a wand in their cell.
Happy Yuletide to all. Look forward to longer days.

Baby Jesus gets GPS Implant

Simulated Baby Jesus Tracker

Stealing the baby Jesus from the mangers of nativity scenes has become a popular international pastime. Last January we reported on a number of Jesus snatching incidents from around the world. This year, the baby Jesus is fighting back. Brickhouse Security, a New York based company, is offering free GPS tracking to churches for the Christmas period. A motion-activated device is fitted inside the baby and sends a distress call. The position of the baby can then be tracked online. The device has A-GPS, so even if satellites are unavailable, the location can be tracked to the nearest base station. So far, over 60 churches in 25 states have enrolled in the Baby Jesus GPS program. The best quote came from a nativity caretaker, Alan Czyewski, who claimed that Jesus would approve of the implant and it would make it easier for his disciples to follow him.

End of world begins, May 21st, 2011

Why do people never tire of incorrectly predicting the date on which the world ends?  This time it’s Family Radio Worldwide, a Christian group in Nashville Tennessee, who have discovered that the end of the world will start with the second coming of Jesus on May 21st, 2011.  They have funded 40 billboard advertisements around Nashville and some other US cities to get this message across. Their website at wecanknow.com further explains that God will actually destroy the world on October 21st, 2011.  I guess it will take exactly five months to judge the entire population of the world.  That’s about 520 people every second, assuming that the judging starts immediately and continues around the clock for the full five months.  I sure hope we get a fair trial.  So how did Harold Camping, the 89-year-old president of Family Radio Worldwide, discover the exact date, when all our scientists think it won’t be for another few billion years?  Yes, you guessed it, that wonderful source of knowledge, the bible, mixed with some creative accounting.  A bible verse states, “As it was in the days of Noah, so it shall be in the days of the Son of Man”.  Since one day for God is 1,000 years for us, this obviously means that the Rapture will be exactly 7,000 years after Noah’s flood. As the flood occurred in 4990 BC, on what would have been May 21st, Jesus will be here on May 21st next year. QED! They expect about 3% of people to take the billboards seriously, but I think they are being optimistic, even for Tennessee.

“Sadly, only eight people survived the Flood”, said Camping, who thinks we are all descended from flood survivors.  Despite the lack of time, they are still accepting donations to help spread the news.  Stick around to see what their website says this time next year.

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