Monthly Archives: October 2013
I keep telling people that if there is a God, He certainly doesn’t want us to worship Him. Remember the first commandment, Do not Worship. Back in 2010 that Jesus statue was smote down. Excessive worship seems to be making God a little irate of late. Last month as services started in Quincy, God unleashed a lightning bolt at the church and knocked the top off the steeple. The service was abandoned for fears that further debris may fall through the roof. Undeterred by this millions of people continued to attend churches, so God sent forth a second lightning bolt, this time destroying the Tudor church of St George in Lincolnshire. This time the damage was so severe that the Churches Conservation Trust doubt that it can be restored. Stay out of churches lest ye anger the Lord. Mark Driscoll, a Seattle based pastor, published an article this week saying “Jesus is not a pansy or a pacifist”, “He is saddling up on a white horse and coming to slaughter his enemies” and “Blood will flow.” Understandably, a lot of people who preach quite the opposite reacted noisily on Twitter. It’s a war zone out there. Keep your head low and use our online services to stay safely away from churches.