The Church of Apathy

Because religion should not matter (too much)

Refusing to see Noah is bordering on absolute stupidity

Noah

Movie Poster

Can you believe that the film Noah has drawn sharp criticism because of inaccuracies? Not inaccuracies in what really happened obviously, but in how it differs from the short account in Genesis. Most criticism has come from people who have not seen the movie and are refusing to do so. Russell Crowe, who stars in the movie, has said he finds this stance “bordering on absolute stupidity”. I’m with you Russell. It seems there is a section of the movie showing how Darwinian evolution has transformed amoebas into apes. Yes, I can see where the creationists might have a problem with that. Anyhow, Ricky Gervais gives a much better treatment of Noah’s Ark. If you haven’t seen it, look it up on YouTube.

Bishop of Bling resigns post

Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst

Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst

Finally the so called Bishop of Bling, Monsignor Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst, has been removed from his post by Pope Francis. The German bishop received wide criticism after the renovation of his residential complex costing  €31 million.  In Germany a church tax costs the country billions of euro, so the lack of transparency rubbed people up the wrong way. Monsignor Manfred Grothe, an auxiliary bishop will take over the post and Tebartz-van Elst will receive a new post at an opportune time.

Website Makeover 2014

church gateWith a little bit of 3D Modelling, jiggery pokery, HTML5 and divine intervention, we have managed to upgrade our website yet again. We have also tried to use our new look graphics across all our web presences, so you know you are dealing with the same Church of Apathy, whether you are on our website, Facebook or whatever.

The old m.churchofapathy.org site will no longer be updated.

Ding Dong Fred Phelps is Dead

Yes, the founder of the church of the anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church, famous for picketing funerals, kicked the bucket this week. There will not be any pickets at his funeral because he is not having one. He was voted out of the church some time ago, supposedly for wanting to take a softer line. It’s like he was bitten by the monster he created. The church gained notoriety in 1998 after protesting at the funeral of a gay student, Matthew Shepard, who had been brutally tortured and murdered. They started picketing the funerals of soldiers in 2005 and claimed that every US catastrophe, including 9/11 was a punishment from God for accepting homosexuality. They called for all gays and lesbians to be killed. In 2007, they featured in a BBC documentary, “The Most Hated Family in America”. Ironically, the work of this group has done more to promote tolerance by demonstrating just how bad intolerance can be. Would there have been a statue erected in memory of Matthew Shepard if they had not intervened? Perhaps they are secretly trying to promote tolerance towards gay people. The lord works in mysterious ways.

Ban on blasphemous bible play lifted.

To ban or not to ban? That is the question. You would think that the artistic board of Newtownabbey council would have learnt from the ridiculous banning of The Life of Brian back in 1980, but no. Last week they banned a play of the Reduced Shakespeare Company entitled “The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged)” on grounds of blasphemy. Some council members claimed it mocked Christianity. However they later came to their senses  with other members claiming the decision made them look like a laughing stock and they reversed the decision. So if you can’t be bothered to read the Bible (and let’s face it not many can), why not catch their show tomorrow night or the night after in Newtownabbey. The show promises to address great theological questions including whether Adam and Eve had navels. Check out their website for more information.

Pope’s doves attacked again.

crow attacks doveYes, those satanic seagulls are at it again. Exactly one year ago seagulls attacked two doves released by Pope Benedict as a sign of peace, but the doves escaped. Yesterday, the gulls decided to bring some reinforcements for their mission in the shape of a crow. You have to admire their choice. A crow is a more classical bird of evil, perhaps we may get a raven or two for next year’s rematch. Shortly after Pope Francis and two children released the doves, they were attacked by a seagull and a crow. Despite their being a crowd of tens of thousands of people in Saint Peter’s square, nobody knows if the doves survived. Well I guess that’s a miracle of sorts.

Hanuman monument proposed alongside Satanic one

Hanuman Statue

Not to be outdone by the Satanists, a Hindu organisation also wants to place a monument on the grounds of the Oklahoma state capitol. The proposed monument is of Hanuman, a monkey-like Hindu deity. Hanuman statues are very common in India, the highest of which is 135 feet high. Politicians haven’t been as quick in dismissing the Hindu deity as they were with the Satanic monument. Meanwhile, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is continuing with a lawsuit to have the 10 commandments monument removed, which caused all this in the first place. It’s all quite amusing. Maybe we should propose a monument to Apathy? No, I think you have to care too much.

Satan monument wanted beside 10 commandments

10 Commandments MonumentDo you believe in freedom of religion? Are all religions equal? Conservatives in Oklahoma City thought it would be a good idea to allow a privately funded Ten Commandments monument to be erected on the Statehouse steps in 2009. Now a New York based Satanic Temple has notified them that they also want to donate a private monument to stand next to the ten commandments. They insist their monument, an homage to the historic/literary Satan costing in the region of $20,000, will be in good taste and in keeping with community standards. The design may feature a pentagram or an interactive display for children. Well I guess it’s important to get both sides of the story. However, Republican Bobby Cleveland, R-Slaughterville, who is pushing for legislation to allow religious themed symbols in public places, dismissed the Satanists saying they are in the Nut category.

God gets angry, destroys church

Destroyed Church of St George

I keep telling people that if there is a God, He certainly doesn’t want us to worship Him. Remember the first commandment, Do not Worship. Back in 2010 that Jesus statue was smote down. Excessive worship seems to be making God a little irate of late.  Last month as services started in Quincy, God unleashed a lightning bolt at the church and knocked the top off the steeple. The service was abandoned for fears that further debris may fall through the roof.  Undeterred  by this millions of people continued to attend churches, so God sent forth a second lightning bolt, this time destroying the Tudor church of St George in Lincolnshire. This time the damage was so severe that the Churches Conservation Trust doubt that it can be restored. Stay out of churches lest ye anger the Lord. Mark Driscoll, a Seattle based pastor, published an article this week saying “Jesus is not a pansy or a pacifist”, “He is saddling up on a white horse and coming to slaughter his enemies” and “Blood will flow.” Understandably, a lot of people who preach quite the opposite reacted noisily on Twitter. It’s a war zone out there. Keep your head low and use our online services to stay safely away from churches.

Tennessee judge rules child is not Messiah

A Surprised BabyWhen the mother and father of a new born child in Tennessee could not agree on which surname the child should have, they went to court. However, when the judge heard that his first name was Messiah, she ordered that it be changed to Martin and include both surnames. The judge explained that only Jesus Christ had earned the right to that name. Many people of other religious beliefs might disagree. In other states, it is possible to call your son Messiah. The name has risen from 633 most popular in 2010 to 387 in 2012 according to the official website of the US Social Security. Arya has risen most among female names, probably due to the popularity of “A Game of Thrones”. There are laws in many countries prohibiting people from giving certain names to their children. Originally Sweden introduced the law to prevent commoners giving royal names to their offspring. Life was so much easier when you could tell a person’s rank from their name.  Sweden has used that law to prevent parents calling their children Metallica and Superman. New Zealand too controls what names parents can bestow on their fortunate children. They have turned down Lucifer, Messiah, Queen Victoria, Christ, President and *.  However, they did slip up a few times and allowed twins called Benson and Hedges and an unfortunate child called Number 16 Bus Shelter. Back in Tennessee, the mother of Martin, formerly known as Messiah, is appealing the case. She should get a t-shirt made stating “I have not the Messiah” on the front and “I’m a very naughty girl” on the back.

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