Becoming an Apathist could not be easier. By visiting this website, and clicking on Baptism, you have agreed to become an Apathist. We welcome you brother/sister/other.
If you wish you can now pour some water over your head. This is purely optional. Many people find this invigorating and use it to symbolise being born again. We would recommend that people using the pouring option for this ceremony use clean water rather than actual amniotic fluid. A nice hot shower is probably the best option, if that is available in your part of the world.
At this point, your computer has logged evidence that you have visited this site, as have many other computers in cyberspace. Presumably any Gods you may believe in will also be aware of your actions. Unfortunately, you may believe that this may result in you being ex-communicated, being burnt eternally or living your next life as a worm, depending on the specifics of your current religion. Sorry about that! No offence is intended to any worm worshippers.
Your continued use of the website and occasional visits will help strengthen your Apathy and confirm the life-long membership to which you have subscribed. We are proud to have you among our members. We don’t actually know how many members we have and we don’t really care. It’s the Apathist way.