Some religions encourage their followers to confess their sins (actions breaking rules of a God) to a priest who relays them to God. After this has been done, the sins are forgiven and the follower, in the event of death, goes directly to heaven, Shangri-la, Nirvana or wherever. Of course if fresh sins are commiteed another confession is required.
The confession below is geared towards the 9 commandments of the Church of Apathy. You may need to refer to the commandments before making a confession.
In this day and age, going to a church and confessing your sins through another person seems like a terrible waste of manpower. By using the form below, you can confess directly to any God in Whom you believe. If your God is reasonable and you are genuinely sorry, you will be forgiven. This cuts out the middleman, allowing you direct access to forgiveness. It also eliminates the security risk of rogue priests spilling the beans. When you are forgiven you can print out a certificate of forgiveness and carry it with you, ensuring speedy access to heaven.
Simply fill in the details below, click on the Confess button and all your sins will be forgiven.
I beg your forgiveness and confess to the following
Other helpful information (who you killed, what you stole etc.)
For your penance, donate an appropriate amount you can easily afford to some charity or person who needs help.