It all started when the head of Jesus was stolen from a statue outside a church in Canada. One of the congregation kindly supplied a temporary replacement head. Unfortunately, the clay replacement looked more like a demonic version of Maggie from the Simpsons. Before the elements had time to destroy the clay head, it was removed, leaving the baby Jesus headless again. The original head was then returned by the teenager who had stolen it. However, it looks like the statue will remain headless for some time. It is better to fit the head in warmer weather and they are worried about it being vandalized again. It looks like the baby Jesus will remain headless until next summer.
For coverage of this by our pilot news channel on YouTube click below.
A man claiming to be the Lord’s Warrior, who beat a man to death with a fence post two years ago, has been found not guilty due to metal illness in Canada. Kevin Larry Michalchuk was staying with a friend at the time and after saying he was Jesus and emptying the contents of his friend’s fridge onto the driveway was asked to leave. His friend called a neighbour, Peppino Bassani, to let him know what was happening and also notified the police. Bassani did not wait for the police, but went out to check his horses and found that Michalchuk had released them from their coral. Michalchuk believed Bassani was a child molester and animal abuser, so presumably in his mind he was saving the horses. A quarrel ensued and Michalchuk hit Bassani with a broken fence post. He fell to the ground and Michalchuk continued hitting him until he stopped moving and then hid the body under some straw. When the police arrived he was wearing a balaclava and carrying a pail and a rope. He yelled that he was the son of God at police and said “I am Jesus. I am the decider. You do not decide.” Two hours after he was taken away, Bassani’s daughter found the body near some grazing horses. After admitting the killing, Michalchuk told police that Bassani had taken the Lord’s name in vain, which had angered him. “God had chosen him to die”, he told police. He also claimed that Bassani said he was Santa Clause and would climb down chimneys, steal kids and eat them. He added that the horses were happier now that Bassani was dead. It looks like Michalchuk will be confined to Alberta Hospital for a long time.
Congratulations to our 15,070 friends in the Czech Republic who listed their religion on the recent census as Jedi Knight. While it represents only 0.14% of the population, or 0.31% in Prague, the impressive turnout caused some ripples that could be felt in the Force. This recognition follows similar results in New Zealand, Australia, the United Kingdom and Canada. Some people question whether the Knights of Jedi is a ‘real’ religion, just as they sometimes question Apathism. As JediChurch.org states
No religion is truth. It’s all just a matter of faith.
And let us not forget the words of Adi Gallia
Better a few faithful supporters than a wealth of false friends.
May the force be with you.
An ultrasound on a patient in a Canadian hospital produced an image that looks like a man in pain. There is no visible beard, so nobody thinks it is the face of Jesus. The paraplegic patient, did not assign any religious significance to the find. He had the testical removed and the growth was found to be benign. The patient was just relieved it wasn’t cancer and showed no interest in the strange appearance. The case has been published in a medical journal as “The Face of Testicular Pain, A Surprising Ultrasound Finding”. Meanwhile Lupita la Bourdette of Pharr in Texas, has become a believer after finding Jesus and his mother Mary holding a baby in her screen door. She claims to have had a dream about a little girl asking her to pray for the world and shortly after the images appeared. Now six years later, she has decided to share with the rest of the world. Who is the mysterious baby? Is it the girl from the dream? Has Jesus had a daughter, a new sister or has the trinity become the trinity plus one? Who is that baby?
It’s nearing the end of October when lots of people will have fun dressing up in weird costumes, setting off fireworks and otherwise celebrating the ancient pagan feast of Hallowen. Not if Paul Ade, a pastor from Calgary in Canada, has anything to do with it. He is promoting Jesus Ween, a Christian festival, which occurs on the very same date. Instead of skimpy costumes and ghoulish outfits, he wants people to wear white to symbolise righteousness. Is White Power making a comeback? He also hands out bibles instead of sweets. He sounds like a regular killjoy. In between composing Jesus Ween songs and running advertising campaigns on buses he found time to claim that the origins of Halloween come from early Christianity and All Hallow’s Eve. That in fact was the first hijacking of the Pagan feast, when the church introduced All Saint’s Day on November 1st. However, dressing up, eating fruit and candy and lighting bonfires is way more fun. I don’t think the Jesus Ween crowd will have much more luck attracting the masses. Next they will claim that Christmas is all about Jesus!
A recent study has concluded that organised religion is an endangered species. This follows a study of nine countries, selected because they have census figures with the relevant data over a significant time span. The countries involved were Australia, Austria, the Czech Republic, Canada, Finland, Ireland, New Zealand, the Netherlands and Switzerland. Daniel Abrams and Haley Yaple of Northwestern University together with Richard Wiener of the University of Arizona predict a continued growth of non-affiliation, tending toward the disappearance of religion in 85 regions around the world. Even in Ireland, which is mostly Catholic, the figure has risen from 0.04% in 1961 to 4.2% in 2006. Another census is taking place shortly in the UK and Ireland, so perhaps there will be more data to back it up shortly. So do you as an Apathist belong to the non-affiliated group or others? That’s right, you don’t care. Let someone else worry about it.