Because religion should not matter (too much)

Gay

Westboro church get country wrong

Westboro ReportOur old friends the Westboro Baptist Church are continuing their campaign of hate against gay people, saying God hates Ireland for legalising gay marriage. The only problem is they put the flag upside down, so they were really protesting against the Ivory Coast. In any case the video is funny, give it a spin on YouTube. https://youtu.be/1Pe2Pa8yYuM

Ireland vote on gay marriage

Sanctity Marriage

Ireland votes on gay marriage this Friday. Many are creating a fog of war to distract from the simple question, should gay marriage be recognised in law? The bible is quite clear about heterosexual marriages in Deuteronomy 22:13-21. If a man marries and discovers his wife is not a virgin, her parents must provide proof that she was. If they do this the husband pays 100 silver shekels to his father-in-law for slander, but if they can’t she will be stoned to death. Perhaps we should change the law to only allow marriage between two virgins and preserve the sanctity of marriage.

Ding Dong Fred Phelps is Dead

Yes, the founder of the church of the anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church, famous for picketing funerals, kicked the bucket this week. There will not be any pickets at his funeral because he is not having one. He was voted out of the church some time ago, supposedly for wanting to take a softer line. It’s like he was bitten by the monster he created. The church gained notoriety in 1998 after protesting at the funeral of a gay student, Matthew Shepard, who had been brutally tortured and murdered. They started picketing the funerals of soldiers in 2005 and claimed that every US catastrophe, including 9/11 was a punishment from God for accepting homosexuality. They called for all gays and lesbians to be killed. In 2007, they featured in a BBC documentary, “The Most Hated Family in America”. Ironically, the work of this group has done more to promote tolerance by demonstrating just how bad intolerance can be. Would there have been a statue erected in memory of Matthew Shepard if they had not intervened? Perhaps they are secretly trying to promote tolerance towards gay people. The lord works in mysterious ways.

God tells man to rape and kill lesbian couple

Isaiah KalebuIsaiah Kalebu, in his murder and rape trial, has told the court that he was told by the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to attack enemies. Earlier in the week, the surviving victim of the attack, identified Kalebu as the man who broke into the home she shared with her partner Teresa Butz, two years ago. She told the jury that he tortured and sexually abused the two women before slashing one girls throat and stabbing Teresa in the heart. Teresa jumped out a window and ran away naked and screaming, but later died. Her partner managed to escape and later identified Kalebu. Due to previous outbursts in the courtroom, Kalebu appeared strapped into a wheelchair wearing white mitts to prevent him from attacking others. He was also connected to an electric shock device so that he could be zapped if he became uncontrollable. What a charming man.

The Gay Cure App

The AppApple approved an app last month, created by Exodus International, to help people troubled by their gay tendencies to cure themselves. The pro-Christian group promotes an “ex-gay” movement, encouraging freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus. Understandably, some gay individuals were a little bit disappointed that Apple let this app through. Usually they are very strict controlling inappropriate content. A petition to get Apple to withdraw the app was started on change.org and after 140,000 signatures, Apple appear to have removed the app.

God photographed on Google Street View

A strange apparition above a lake in Switzerland has been caught on Google Street View. Can it be distortion or a lens flare? Oh ye of little faith. It is of course God giving us a message.  There appear to be two figures, a Jedi Knight on the left and a fairy with wings and a pink dress on the right. The Jedi Knight, as discussed on the previous post is becoming a common theme for apparitions. This is God recommending religious Apathy, as shown by people who fill in Jedi as their religion on census forms. The pink fairy is a little trickier. If this is, as some have suggested, God and His only begotten Son, the Son is obviously in touch with His feminine side. He may be telling the Westboro Baptist Church, the Mormons and others that it is ok to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

Why did God choose to be photographed in Switzerland? Minaret building is banned in Switzerland, so I guess this God is not Allah. How long before tourists are flocking here to catch a glimpse of the Almighty? See it for your self here.

Jesus outraged, appears in fire.

Jesus has been accused of being gay and has been pictured holding beer and a cigarette. No wonder He is appearing in flames.

Elton says Jesus was gay

Elton John

In an online interview for parade.com, Elton John started a torrent of internet outrage by claiming

I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.

He also stated

On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel.

These remarks complimenting Jesus, have lead bloggers and tweeters to post many outraged responses.

Textbook shows Jesus holding beer and a cigarette

Smoking Drinking Jesus

Meanwhile over in the Indian state of Meghalaya, the government has had to confiscate school textbooks depicting Jesus holding a cigarette and a beer can.

Over 70% of the population are Christian and are outraged.

The State Education Minister is considering taking legal action against Skyline Publications, of New Delhi, who are the publishers.

The picture was discovered in a cursive writing textbook in a private school.

Although private schools are not obliged to use prescribed textbooks, the government has reacted by seizing all copies of the book from shops and schools.

The catholic church too has reacted, by banning all textbooks from Skyline Publications in all its schools.

They also asked the government to take strict action against the publisher and to ban any such objectionable publications from schools in the future.

Jesus appears in flames

Jesus in firePerhaps this is unrelated, but apparitions of Jesus have moved away from foodstuffs, to fire. While traditionally fire is associated more with the Devil than Jesus, when Rob Millist saw the face in his gas fire, he immediately pointed out Christ’s face to his partner’s mother.

The face formed by patterns of ash on one of the burning logs remained visible for 20 minutes before it disintegrated into ash at the bottom of the open fire. Ashes to ashes. Mr. Miller however had grabbed his iPhone and recorded the apparition. He stated:

I would like to believe it was the face of Jesus, but it could be an incredible coincidence.

Yes, it could.

God Recognized

The onion recognizes God as one of man’s best inventions allowing billions to ease their fears and excuse a wide variety of actions like war and homophobia.

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