Congratulations to our 15,070 friends in the Czech Republic who listed their religion on the recent census as Jedi Knight. While it represents only 0.14% of the population, or 0.31% in Prague, the impressive turnout caused some ripples that could be felt in the Force. This recognition follows similar results in New Zealand, Australia, the United Kingdom and Canada. Some people question whether the Knights of Jedi is a ‘real’ religion, just as they sometimes question Apathism. As JediChurch.org states
No religion is truth. It’s all just a matter of faith.
And let us not forget the words of Adi Gallia
Better a few faithful supporters than a wealth of false friends.
May the force be with you.
For His latest appearance, Jesus has decided to visit an Irish pub. Rather than visit one in Ireland, He decided to support the Seanchai pub, in Warrnambool, on the Great Ocean Road in Australia, where they supply pints of the black stuff to appreciative locals. The black figure, which again bears an uncanny resemblance to a Jedi knight, appeared on the painted front of the hotel. As word of the apparition spreads, people are coming from all around to take photos of the miracle. One of the local patrons has claimed that Jesus is turning water into Guinness. The owners are installing a shield to protect the apparition from being defaced.
A strange apparition above a lake in Switzerland has been caught on Google Street View. Can it be distortion or a lens flare? Oh ye of little faith. It is of course God giving us a message. There appear to be two figures, a Jedi Knight on the left and a fairy with wings and a pink dress on the right. The Jedi Knight, as discussed on the previous post is becoming a common theme for apparitions. This is God recommending religious Apathy, as shown by people who fill in Jedi as their religion on census forms. The pink fairy is a little trickier. If this is, as some have suggested, God and His only begotten Son, the Son is obviously in touch with His feminine side. He may be telling the Westboro Baptist Church, the Mormons and others that it is ok to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.
Why did God choose to be photographed in Switzerland? Minaret building is banned in Switzerland, so I guess this God is not Allah. How long before tourists are flocking here to catch a glimpse of the Almighty? See it for your self here.
Jesus following on from his last appearance in South Carolina, has now been sighted on a tree limb in North Carolina. Bill Johnson, of Winston-Salem, noticed the image on the limb, which had fallen from a cherry tree in his garden. “That looks like Jesus” he said, “It just amazed me.” Bill believes that this was a reminder for him to attend church more often, but he is missing the point. Look carefully at the miraculous image and you will notice an uncanny resemblance to Obi Wan Kenobi or some other Jedi Knight. In the centre of the picture you can clearly see his light sabre. Obviously Obi-Wan is a fictional character, so this must be Jesus paying homage to all those Apathists who write Jedi as their religion on census forms. Thank you for your support Jesus.