Yesterday the pope released a dove as a sign of peace following the angelus on holocaust day. A watching seagull, perhaps a nazi sympathiser intending to protest, attacked the dove and tried to kill it. Thousands of onlookers in St. Peter’s square looked on, as the dove flew for its life, trying to escape the gull. After a short while their prayers were answered as the dove flew free. Last year when the pope released two doves from the same window, they flew back in through the open window. Perhaps they had been given a tip off about another planned gull attack.
People just love predicting the fall of Rome. Remember an earthquake was predicted to hit back in May, but it turned out to be just another warm sunny day? Now a group called the Fatima movement are predicting that God will destroy Rome in just under a fortnight, on August 17th. They know this because the have the Authentic text of the third secret of Fatima, not the version published by the Vatican. They seem to be looking forward to the non-event, or the imminent punishment from heaven, as they call it. They even have a Destruction of Rome countdown clock on their website accurate to the millisecond. They also note that Anti-Pope Benedict will not be in Rome on August 17th. The website reminds me of the line from the movie, As Good As It Gets, when a religious caller knocks on Melvin’s door – “Sell crazy someplace else, we’re all stocked up here.”
I sure you are all fed up hearing about the world ending this Saturday, as we reported last year. According to some very questionable calculations, around teatime on Saturday, the faithful followers of Jesus will be gently whisked up to heaven in the Rapture. What are the atheists planning to do about this? Why they are going to have Rapture parties, to celebrate their continuing existence. Search for Rapture Party in Facebook. The parties are not just limited to atheists. Why not hold your own Rapture party this weekend? What is the Pope planning to do this Saturday? He is obviously not expecting to be whisked up to heaven. He is planning to steam a live conversation between the astronauts on the space station and himself via the official Vatican website, Vatican Radio. I must remember to check in on the Family Radio website, wecanknow.com, on Sunday to get the new date for the end of the world.
Nurse Alex Cotton of Coventry was relaxing in her garden, minding her own business, when she suddenly saw the face of Jesus appear in a creosote stain on a drainpipe. Knowing it was a sign from God, she excitedly called her friends to share the apparition and has extended an invitation to Pope Benedict to come and witness this marvel, when he visits the UK this September. Despite the invitation to the Pope, she hopes that she will not be flooded by pilgrims to the holy drainpipe. To me, it looks like a squashed rodent, but people see things in different ways.
John Schembri, mayor of a town in Malta, called for the removal of a “phallic” sculpture from the Luqa roundabout, near the airport, before Pope Benedict XVI visits. On facebook Raphael Vassallo setup the group “Save The Zobb Monument” to counter this demand. There are over 5,000 fans. Raphael writes “Look: I don’t like having a massive erect penis slap bang outside our airport either… but everybody accepted it until the Pope decided to pay us a visit. Now, we are suddenly embarrassed of something most of us took for granted for years. Enough of this hypocritical bullshit. If it’s good enough for the LIDL roundabout then it’s good enough for Pope Benedict XVI.”. He has also reported that USA Today stated “The Pope is human like everyone else. He can handle it as well as any other observer….”
The monument is staying put.