Who was first to visit the new born baby Jesus, some shepherds, the wise men or Father Christmas? Well according to a recent survey of about 1,000 adults and 1,000 children 37 opted for Santa. Scarily enough the 37 were mostly adults, not children. Some of the other misconceptions were that Mary and Joseph were married when they found out she was pregnant (60%), they were on their first date (2%), Jesus was placed in a Moses basket (5%) and Jesus was born in Beirut (1%). Other than the large number of people thinking that Mary and Joseph were married, the Nativity plays at this time of year seem to be doing their job in getting the story of Jesus across. Wouldn’t it be nice if Santa was the first visitor?
A man claiming to be the Lord’s Warrior, who beat a man to death with a fence post two years ago, has been found not guilty due to metal illness in Canada. Kevin Larry Michalchuk was staying with a friend at the time and after saying he was Jesus and emptying the contents of his friend’s fridge onto the driveway was asked to leave. His friend called a neighbour, Peppino Bassani, to let him know what was happening and also notified the police. Bassani did not wait for the police, but went out to check his horses and found that Michalchuk had released them from their coral. Michalchuk believed Bassani was a child molester and animal abuser, so presumably in his mind he was saving the horses. A quarrel ensued and Michalchuk hit Bassani with a broken fence post. He fell to the ground and Michalchuk continued hitting him until he stopped moving and then hid the body under some straw. When the police arrived he was wearing a balaclava and carrying a pail and a rope. He yelled that he was the son of God at police and said “I am Jesus. I am the decider. You do not decide.” Two hours after he was taken away, Bassani’s daughter found the body near some grazing horses. After admitting the killing, Michalchuk told police that Bassani had taken the Lord’s name in vain, which had angered him. “God had chosen him to die”, he told police. He also claimed that Bassani said he was Santa Clause and would climb down chimneys, steal kids and eat them. He added that the horses were happier now that Bassani was dead. It looks like Michalchuk will be confined to Alberta Hospital for a long time.
What could me more religious at Christmas than visiting the basilica of the Nativity in Bethlehem, where it is alleged Jesus Christ was born? Well perhaps you should avoid it. The church is jointly controlled by a number of competing religions and disputes often erupt between them over territorial claims. This year the Armenian Orthodox and Greek Orthodox clergyman had a full on brawl over who was supposed to clean which part of the church. They ended up screaming and hitting each other with broomsticks. The Palestinian security forces had to be called in to break up the riot. See the video on YouTube.
Meanwhile over near Reno, Jesus spoke to Justin Bennett through his heart and directed his rampage of arson, vandalism and shooting this Christmas. He targeted the police, a post office, four motels, strip clubs and various vehicles, shooting into them and burning down the unoccupied post office. He says
People should be home with their families at Christmas and at church, not at the strip clubs.
He has been charged with discharging a firearm into a building, arson and burglary.
Over near London, Santa Claus left an image of Jesus in the sock of Sarah Crane’s laundry. Who said they couldn’t work together? When Sarah started making a shrine to the sock, some of the creases fell out and the image could not be seen so clearly, but you can still make out the face. Unfortunately, she thinks it is no longer good enough to donate to her local church. She thinks it’s a sign, but for what she does not know. That reminds me, I must get rid of my holy socks.