Because religion should not matter (too much)


God gets angry, destroys church

Destroyed Church of St George

I keep telling people that if there is a God, He certainly doesn’t want us to worship Him. Remember the first commandment, Do not Worship. Back in 2010 that Jesus statue was smote down. Excessive worship seems to be making God a little irate of late.  Last month as services started in Quincy, God unleashed a lightning bolt at the church and knocked the top off the steeple. The service was abandoned for fears that further debris may fall through the roof.  Undeterred  by this millions of people continued to attend churches, so God sent forth a second lightning bolt, this time destroying the Tudor church of St George in Lincolnshire. This time the damage was so severe that the Churches Conservation Trust doubt that it can be restored. Stay out of churches lest ye anger the Lord. Mark Driscoll, a Seattle based pastor, published an article this week saying “Jesus is not a pansy or a pacifist”, “He is saddling up on a white horse and coming to slaughter his enemies” and “Blood will flow.” Understandably, a lot of people who preach quite the opposite reacted noisily on Twitter. It’s a war zone out there. Keep your head low and use our online services to stay safely away from churches.

God smites Jesus idol

As any good Apathist knows, the first commandment is “Thou Shalt Not Worship”. Well if there is a God, I reckon She got fed up with all the Jesus worship that is going on.  Remember what She told Moses, “You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.”  So how did She pick a target to smite? Well if you are going to pick a country, the USA seems to have the highest number of Jesus aficionados, so the biggest sculpture of Jesus Christ in America would be symbolic. The 62 foot high, “King of Kings” statue in Ohio, near Cincinnati, was erected outside the Solid Rock Church in 2004. The sculpture was known locally as the “Touchdown Jesus” due to the pose. On Monday, June 14th, 2010, the sculpture was struck by lightning and destroyed.  Now please stop building these things and show some apathy.

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