Because religion should not matter (too much)

Washington

God tells football player to start fire

Spokane FireThursday morning at 5:30am, near Spokane, WA, Kevin Marcus Ellison, a professional football player with Shock Spokane, had to jump from his upper story apartment window to escape a fire. His teammate Chris Tucker who shares the apartment was awakened by a smoke detector and also escaped unharmed. Luckily the blaze was spotted by passing fire-fighters who requested backup and extinguished the fire. On examination of the scene fire-fighters ruled out accidental causes and at the hospital, where Ellison was being treated for smoke inhalation, he told a Fire Marshal that God had told him to set the bed on fire with a marijuana blunt. Damage is estimated at $50,000 and Ellison has been arrested for arson.

A Poem for Christmas and Baby Jesus

Jesus Missing‘Twas the week before Christmas
Outside every house
And Jesus was stirring
Helped by a louse

The crib was placed
On the lawn with care
But alas Baby Jesus
Is no longer there.

Yes, the stealing Baby Jesus from the crib season is in full swing this year right across the globe. From one in Waterford, Ireland which was later found badly damaged, to the serial Baby Jesus snatcher in Port Angeles who took six of them. One bright spark who posted a picture of a stolen statue on her Facebook page and bragged about taking it, is now facing charges in Fredericksburg. Over in Macomb County, MI, they had a new variation this year. Besides stealing the Baby Jesus, they also posed lighted reindeer ornaments in sexual positions. If you are placing a Baby Jesus outside your house, make sure it is fitted with a GPS device and install some hidden cameras.

Merry Christmas everyone, or if you object to Jesus being include:

Season’s Greetings, Happy Holidays, Enjoy the Winter Solstice

God tells man to rape and kill lesbian couple

Isaiah KalebuIsaiah Kalebu, in his murder and rape trial, has told the court that he was told by the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to attack enemies. Earlier in the week, the surviving victim of the attack, identified Kalebu as the man who broke into the home she shared with her partner Teresa Butz, two years ago. She told the jury that he tortured and sexually abused the two women before slashing one girls throat and stabbing Teresa in the heart. Teresa jumped out a window and ran away naked and screaming, but later died. Her partner managed to escape and later identified Kalebu. Due to previous outbursts in the courtroom, Kalebu appeared strapped into a wheelchair wearing white mitts to prevent him from attacking others. He was also connected to an electric shock device so that he could be zapped if he became uncontrollable. What a charming man.

Sponsored
Social Media